Ode to my klutziness

          This morning, my supervisor told me the portable phone didn’t sound right and asked me if I had dropped it. My first thought was, “Today?”

          Of course I have dropped the damned thing… several times. It’s not like I am trying to damage company property and I am aware of the fragility of things like phones, but to know me is to know that I am basically responsible but uncoordinated. I don’t lose my keys or my debit card and I pay my credit card bills off every month, but I drop things. I trip over things and walk into things. It is not my desire to bump my elbows or to drop my toothbrush in the toilet but I do it all the time. I have a peculiar talent for toe-stubbing. I have mangled my toes and toenails in ways that I choose not to describe here. What amazes me about my klutziness is everyone’s ability to think that I have some sort of ability to turn it off.

          When my parents came to visit me during my semester abroad, we went to Prague for the weekend and stayed in a pretty swanky hotel with very modern décor with lots of glass. (You can see where this one is going.) One morning while on my way to meet my parents for continental breakfast, I walked head on into a glass wall. Then I had to do that awkward thing where I pretend that the entire breakfast room had not just seen me impale myself against a transparent surface. My dad had his back turned and when my mom explained what had happened he asked me: “What did you do that for? You could have hurt yourself.” Gee Dad, I don’t know. I thought it’d be fun!