Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sleeping, a Twisted Love Triangle

          It is probably normal for most people to feel sleepy throughout the day and actually fall asleep. For my own part, however, to my recollection, (illness notwithstanding), I have never casually fallen asleep. To my recollection, I have never once even fallen asleep sitting up. I have never had the experience of feeling so sleepy while driving that I thought I might konk out and cause an accident. I have never slept for more than 15 minutes on a plane. I will nod in agreement each time my father gives me the “try to sleep on the red-eye” speech and I will agree wholeheartedly that that is the best way to prevent jet-lag. I will even try in earnest to catch a few hours rest but I usually fall asleep about 5 minutes before the flight attendants turn on the lights to serve breakfast.

          I need every condition to be right and then maybe, just maybe, I will fall asleep within a half hour. I am generally a fairly anal expulsive person, but my bed is a whole other thing. My bedtime persona I like to affectionately call, “Crazy-Sleeper-Lady”. I like two medium-sized pillows under my head, one pillow under each elbow to keep from wrenching them in my sleep and one between my knees. I like my covers to be folded over at the top and the topsheet folded on top of that. When I am an overnight guest and am asked if the couch or the floor is fine, the answer is yes. They are fine because I will most likely sleep as badly on your couch or floor as I will in your guestbed. You could put me in a bureau drawer for all I care. “Which came first?”you say- the inability to fall asleep or the high maintenance stipulations surrounding it? It is hard to say but I am inclined to think it is based on my body’s natural tendency toward wakefulness in the evening.

          My uncle told me that my sleeping habits would start to change now that I was out of college. My Dad had to step in and say that this was unlikely, considering that my sleeping habits have been consistently that of a college students’ since birth. I have always been inclined to stay up and sleep in. My mother says that she did not sleep for two years after I was born, so difficult was the struggle to lull me to sleep. And my babysitters reported that they would hear me singing and talking to myself for at least a half hour after putting me to bed (actually, I was performing my own show- it was called, creatively: “The Katie Show”, but I digress…)

          The other day I read a lovely little essay on the sheer beauty and delight of the nap. It is entitled “Napping, a Love Story” by Cathleen Schine. In contrast to the many medical research snippets on the subject of napping the author has found, this meditation contains blissful descriptions of filtered window light accompanying a peaceful mid-day respose. To Schine, there is something wonderful about when you are “overcome with fatigue and stumble back to bed where the sheets and the pillowcase have become especially cool and inviting." I thought this article interesting and beautifully written. But let me be clear, as far as naps go, I could not feel more differently. On the rare occasion when I have been in perfectly sound health and have submitted to the calls of a mid-day nap, I have awoken nothing short of a homicidal maniac. When I come to, I have a headache, a disconnected head-body feeling, and a sour taste in the back of my throat which no amount of gagging myself with a toothbrush can eradicate. I will slump into the nearest room and irrationally blame my current feelings on the person and/or people in it who “let me sleep”. (Surely, I could not have done this to myself). In studies, there is some evidence that naps are most effective in 20-40 minute stints and no more than that. For this reason, my boyfriend and all of my roommates, past and present know that if they stumble upon me napping they are to attempt to wake me to save me from angry-lunatic-yelling-obscenities state. If I ask someone to please wake me up in no longer than 40 minutes, it usually works out well because when they knock on my door 40 minutes later, I have probably just fallen asleep five minutes earlier.

          All of this comes to mind because this past week was exceptional from a sleeping standpoint. Last Thursday, I fell immediately into an almost fitful stupor of fatigue and heavy breathing the moment my head hit the pillow at night. So strange was the occurrence and poignant the sensory memory that I said to my friends “No, you don’t understand, I went to bed and then a second later, I fell asleep!” as though they too must surely recognize this in themselves as an absurd occurrence. Most remained unmoved. Then over the weekend while visiting college friends I actually fell asleep twice on the couch while being spoken to! The last thing I remember hearing were my friends, who lived with me for 3 years, exclaiming: “Is she actually sleeping?!” And I woke up at 8:00 one morning of my own volition! (I have always been inclined to think that the morning was made for sleeping and will gladly retort this to those who try to convince me otherwise anytime before 10am). I assumed I must be coming down with something because the last time I remember spontaneous sleep like this occurring was during a three hour German class. The class itself was not enough to put me out, but rather; it was the combination of it with strep throat. So, when several days ago, no symptoms of an infection were showing up, I actually started to worry. Could it be that my natural clock is changing as my uncle suggested it would or do I have some sort of terminal illness? I had visions of trying to explain to my doctor that I had been sleeping easily lately so obviously there must be something wrong. As it turns out, several nights later than usual, a sore throat set in and it was clear that it had just been a longer than normal incubation period. Although I would have to rest my voice for a few inconvenient days, I was strangely comforted. After the virus’s duration I would return to my normal sleep dysfunction and all would be well.

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